Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
