Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Randomize
