so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
