I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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