Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are two peas in an std pod
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
