So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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