I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
