Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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