College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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