I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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