AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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