so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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