so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
