Christians are straight up FREAKS
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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