Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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