xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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