I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
