your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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