You're completely useless in the revolution.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You made out with two different species that night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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