It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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