Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
