She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Randomize
