I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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