She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
