If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
