You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
