I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
two words: eviction party
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
