We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
