Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
