I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize