I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish there were birth control emojis
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
