i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
