youre lurking in front of me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
