dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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