I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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