Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
