it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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