she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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