The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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