Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
