i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
