Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
