would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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