I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
