Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
