my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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