I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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