no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
