come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
