I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.