You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I AM VODKA MAN
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
