If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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