remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
