dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
