Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize