Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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