Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
