So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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