i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
