Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize