your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
