worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
