Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
